I tre år har jag bloggat av och till på denna bloggen. Nu, tre år äldre (obviously), 16 år gammal kommer jag skriva mitt sista inlägg här. När jag kollar igenom arkivet inser jag hur sjukt mycket som förändrats. Vissa grejer till det bättre - andra till det sämre. Det sista inlägget, det historiska sista inlägget skulle jag vilja ägna till en varelse som varit min livräddare under två och ett halvt år. Nämligen, min fina, kloka, galna Ninja. 

 

I Januari 2013 var jag gladast i hela universum. För jag hade blivit ägare till den finaste ponny jag någonsin hade sätt. I flera år hade jag drömt och suktat efter denna ponny. Den vackra ponny, med de långa fina benen, de kloka, pigga ögonen och en vilja av stål. Hon älskade att hoppa, och var hela tiden där, med sin mule någonstans. Hon var den mest fantastiska lilla varelse jag någonsin sätt, vilket hon nog fortfarande är. Denna ponny ställde upp direkt, något ponnyn innan det inte gjort på samma sätt. Hon visade sin talang från första början och jag tvekade aldrig en sekund på att hon kunde gå riktigt långt. Frågan var bara om jag skulle kunna ta henne dit.

 

Svaret på den frågan kommer vi aldrig veta säkert, för Ninja blev skadad. Och skadad återigen. Vems fel det var, det kan vi aldrig veta, men jag kommer förevigt bära med mig skulden. Hur det än var. Jag kommer aldrig förlåta mig själv för det, men det är ju lätt att säga nu för det är för sent. Nu går det inte att rädda. Det är över. 

 

Jag vet inte hur jag någonsin skulle kunna ge Ninja rättvisa, eller på något tillräckligt vackert sätt beskriva hur mycket hon betytt för mig, ända sedan dag ett. Sedan dess har hon varit vilkorslöst älskad av mig och kommer vara det för evigt. Jag hade velat ge denna häst mitt liv, mina år och lite till. Och, gud vad jag önskar att hennes tid på jorden blev längre än vad den blev. Vi fick vår evighet, och den är jag så fruktansvärt tacksam för. MIn fina häst slutade aldrig kämpa, inte ens när hon hade som ondast gav hon upp, inte för en sekund. Hon gjorde allt jag bad om, varje dag, vilket så småningom blev ett problem. Du fina, underbara och otroligt dumma häst. Jag tror aldrig jag kommer kunna hitta en häst mer fantastisk än min Ninja. 

 

Jag vet verkligen inte hur jag ska förklara alla känslor som far i hjärtat och hjärnan nu, men en sak jag vet är att det gör så jävla ont. Jag vet inte heller hur fan man överlever. Hur kan man ta ifrån sin älskade livet och fortfarande stå upp? Hur kan man gå därifrån utan att lämna kvar sitt hjärta där, med henne? Hon har räddat mig på alla sätt en människa kan bli räddad på. Hon har varit en tillflyktsväg när allt varit jobbigt, en plats att andas på. Med huvudet mot hennes hals, med fingrarna i manen har man kunnat ta djupa andetag. Kunnat släppa skola, vänner och killar för att istället ha något annat att fokusera på. 

 

Herregud vad jag kommer sakna att klappa hennes svettiga hals efter ett ett bra dressyrpass eller känna henne lyfta från marken för att bära mig över hinderna på tävlingsbanan. Jag är så tacksam för den tiden vi fick, men jag kan inte låta bli att önska att den skulle bli längre än vad den blev. 

Idag har jag sagt hejdå för sista gången. Den känslan önskar jag att ingen någonsin ska behöva känna. För det var fruktansvärt. Det finns inte ord nog för att beskriva det. Jag tror inte det finns något sätt att ta livet av den man älskar som är fint, eller mindre smärtsamt för vare sig en själv eller hästen.

 

Jag hade kunnat skriva en roman om vår resa ihop och mina känslor just nu, men för att skona mitt tangentbord från vattenskador skapat av mina tårar, så är det nog bäst att jag avslutar detta här. Finaste Ninja, jag saknar dig redan du knasiga, kloka, vackra och modiga häst. Tack för allt fint du gav mig. 

 

 16 Juni 2007 - 23 Juni 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gud så fint skrivet, blir helt tårögd!

Jag hittade till detta inlägget samma dag som jag fått ta bort min egen häst. Har sparat fliken utan att inte riktigt veta varför, mer än att jag känner igen mig så fruktansvärt i det du skriver. Detta jag gått igenom... var svårare än jag någonsin kunnat föreställa mig. Det gör så obeskrivligt ont. Men jag är inte ensam och det tröstar faktiskt.

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Solar technology has grown to become the most promising and sought-after sourced elements of clean, renewable energy in the last few years. It is because of its numerous benefits, including financial savings, energy savings, plus the positive impact it offers in the environment. In this essay, we shall talk about the advantages of choosing solar technology in homes and businesses, the technology behind it, and exactly how it may be implemented to increase its benefits.

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The technology behind solar technology is simple and easy, yet highly effective. Solar energy panels are made of photovoltaic (PV) cells, which convert sunlight into electricity. This electricity can then be stored in batteries or fed straight into the electrical grid, with regards to the specific system design. So that you can maximize the benefits of solar technology, it is critical to design a custom system this is certainly tailored to your unique energy needs and requirements. This can ensure that you have just the right components in place, like the appropriate wide range of solar power panels and also the right style of batteries, to increase your power efficiency and value savings.

One of several important aspects in designing a custom solar power system is comprehending the several types of solar power panels and their performance characteristics. There's two main forms of solar energy panels – monocrystalline and polycrystalline – each featuring its own advantages and disadvantages. Monocrystalline solar energy panels are made of a single, high-quality crystal, which makes them more effective and durable. However, also they are more expensive than polycrystalline panels, that are produced from multiple, lower-quality crystals.

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